Have you ever felt like you’ve been misunderstood and that everything you said was not coming out right or taken how you intended it to be?
It seems like it happens a lot to me…whether in my family, at work, or with a friend.
I know so often my physical appearance or body language also lends itself to coming across one way, when that is not the way I intended or feel in my heart.
With our technological society these days, I know you take more of a chance that what you are typing might be misunderstood.. The reader might not be able to interpret your “tone of voice” or the expression you were trying to relay. There is even more of a risk that how you meant something to come out, may in fact, not come across that same way. Especially when I am communicating something via typing, whether at work or home, I find myself first thinking about what I want to say, the best way to try to say it, then proofing and rereading it to try to make sure it comes out the way I intended or to try to make it clear enough for the reader to understand what I’m trying to say or ask.
For me, it can be frustrating and even crushing if the person I’m in direct physical contact with, or the reader, doesn’t end up understanding it in the way it was intended, even after spending so much time trying to convey it in the way intended. I think it bothers me because I end up feeling misunderstood and in my heart, I want to be honest and sincere in my interactions, as well as represent Christ to others. I try to be genuine and don’t want to be fake or pretend I’m something that I’m not. Sharing the Lord’s goodness with all those I meet is important to me.
Photo credit by Dominic Scaglioni under Creative Common License (CC BY 2.0). Words added by hopetoinspireyou.wordpress.com
It was rather ironic that I ran across this quote this week:
“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” –Ralph G. Nichols
I think this is true to a point..that we want to understand things in this life and that we want others to understand us. But, at the same time, I think we can’t always understand why some things happen, or we can’t comprehend why things are like they are. Being understood by others is a basic need for us because it gives us validation and helps us know we are really okay. To really understand another, it does require listening and maybe not adding our two cents. The other person may need someone to listen and understand, not judge them. It is truly how that person sees something or what they are feeling at the the time. Remembering that everyone has different life experiences that make them unique and shape the way they see things can help us understand someone a little better.
I am learning that if I end up being misunderstood, I just need to let it go. I need to keep trying my best to explain what I mean, and if the other person doesn’t see it that way, it’s okay. Maybe they are having a bad day and have their own “issues” that make them see something differently. I need to keep trying my best in being faithful and sincere.
The other thing I need to remember is that God is the only one who truly understands me and that is really the only thing that truly matters. God even understands me better than I understand myself! (I’ll add that sure is a relief!) That is because He made me and formed me. And, God knows my heart, what was trying to be communicated, and how it was being communicated. I only need to “answer” to Him.
And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve Him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. –1 Chronicles 28:9
Christine, your words ring so true! I can’t imagine one person who has not experienced being “misunderstood” at one time or another.
I know for myself, I sometimes “agonize” — especially over things that I write — striving hard to make sure that what I say and how I say it “comes out right”. But, as you shared, it is always open to “interpretation” on the receiving end depending on where that person is at that moment….spiritually, mentally, physically. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for your kind and encouraging words, Lynn! It is great to know that I’m not alone in my agonizing! 🙂 And, you put that so nicely about the way our words are open to “interpretation.” God bless!